#!/usr/bin/env python3

import random
import sys

# Corporate buzzword components
VERBS = ["Enhanced", "Optimized", "Refactored", "Streamlined", "Leveraged", "Synergized", "Scaled"]
NOUNS = ["synergy pipeline", "core functionality", "user journey", "data flow", "API layer", "microservice architecture"]
ADJECTIVES = ["robust", "scalable", "resilient", "future-proof", "cloud-native", "enterprise-grade"]
SUFFIXES = ["for improved performance", "to align with Q2 initiatives", "per stakeholder feedback", "addressing technical debt", "ensuring platform stability"]

# Generate the perfect corporate commit message
def generate_commit_message():
    verb = random.choice(VERBS)
    noun = random.choice(NOUNS)
    adj = random.choice(ADJECTIVES)
    suffix = random.choice(SUFFIXES)
    
    # Corporate format: Verb + Adjective + Noun + Suffix
    return f"{verb} {adj} {noun} {suffix}"

if __name__ == "__main__":
    # Generate and print 3 sample commit messages
    print("\nGitCommit-O-Matic 3000 Output:")
    print("=" * 40)
    for i in range(3):
        print(f"{i+1}. {generate_commit_message()}")
    print("=" * 40)
    print("\nUsage: python gitcommit-o-matic.py | Copy any line after the number")

# Save as gitcommit-o-matic.py and run: python gitcommit-o-matic.py

The Problem: The Great Commit Message Charade

Let's be honest. Your team's 17-page "Commit Message Convention" document, lovingly crafted during a 3-day "Engineering Excellence" offsite, is a work of fiction. It's the software equivalent of a Terms of Service agreement—nobody reads it, and the only person who follows it is the junior dev who hasn't yet realized it's all theater.

We waste precious mental cycles translating "fixed the damn button" into "Enhanced UI component interactivity and resolved state persistence edge-case for improved user journey alignment." Why? To pass the PR review sniff test from that one architect who thinks commit messages should tell a story. Spoiler: The story is always "I changed some code because it was broken."

The absurdity peaks on a Friday at 4:55 PM. You've just duct-taped a critical bug. The actual change is a one-line null check. But now you must choose: Do you go with the honest "prevent crash lol" or the corporate-approved "Implemented robust null-safety guardrails to ensure platform stability and graceful degradation"? This decision often takes longer than writing the fix itself. It's performance art, and you're the unwilling mime.

The Solution: Automating the Inanity

I built GitCommit-O-Matic 3000 to solve this farce. It's a tool born from equal parts frustration and malicious compliance. Why should you manually inject buzzwords when an algorithm can do it with more consistency and less existential dread?

At its core, the tool does something beautifully simple: it looks at what you actually changed (file extensions, rough line counts, maybe a keyword or two) and feeds that into a Markov chain of corporate jargon. Changed a `.js` file? You're now "refactoring client-side logic for enhanced scalability." Touched a `.yml` config? That's "orchestrating deployment paradigm shifts." It's like Mad Libs for people who have sat through too many sprint retrospectives.

The genius—and why it's actually useful—is that it saves you time while producing messages that are indistinguishable from the real, manually crafted nonsense. Your git history will look like it was written by a team of highly paid consultants, and you'll have reclaimed those minutes for something valuable, like actually fixing more bugs or staring blankly at your monitor for a different reason.

How to Use It: Embrace the Machine

Getting started is easier than explaining to your PM why a feature is "technically complex." Install it via pip:

pip install gitcommit-o-matic

Navigate to your repo, stage your changes like a normal human (`git add .`), and then instead of `git commit -m "uhhh"`, run:

gitcommitomatic --style senior-architect

The tool will analyze your diff, generate a message, and even commit it for you. Here's a snippet of the core logic that chooses the buzzword salad:

# From the main generator module
def generate_message(file_changes, style="default", is_friday=False):
    buzzword_pool = get_buzzwords_for_time()
    action = "Refactored" if "test" in file_changes else "Optimized"
    component = infer_component(file_changes)
    
    if is_friday:
        return f"Quick fix: {component} before weekend deploy"
    
    return f"{action} {component} {buzzword_pool['verb']} {buzzword_pool['noun']}"

Check out the full source code on GitHub to see how it seamlessly integrates the soul of a middle manager into your terminal.

Key Features: A Symphony of Pretension

• Generates plausible-sounding commit messages from file changes: It looks at your diff and confidently declares you've "implemented a holistic middleware solution" when you just added a log line.
• Includes corporate buzzwords appropriate to the time of day: Morning commits get "synergy" and "leveraged." Afternoon commits get "paradigm" and "streamlined." Post-5 PM commits get "band-aid solution" and "technical debt."
• Auto-detects if it's Friday (switches to 'quick fix before weekend' mode): On Fridays, all pretension drops. Messages become beautifully honest: "Patch for prod fire," "Please work," "Last commit before wine."
• Can simulate 'junior dev', 'senior architect', or 'product manager' commit styles:
  • Junior Dev: "Fixed bug. Hopefully."
  • Senior Architect: "Architected a forward-thinking, polyglot persistence layer abstraction to future-proof our data ingress strategy."
  • Product Manager: "Aligned code with Q2 OKRs to drive user-centric value delivery." (The code changed a font color.)

Conclusion: Stop Writing, Start Committing

GitCommit-O-Matic 3000 isn't just a tool; it's a statement. It's a declaration that we're done performing linguistic gymnastics to describe the mundane. It gives you back your time, provides hilarious cover for your actual work, and produces a git log so polished it could be used in a boardroom presentation.

The real value isn't in the messages themselves—it's in the minutes you reclaim every day. Minutes you can use for more important things, like figuring out why the staging environment is down again. So stop agonizing over the perfect commit message. Let the machine handle the corporate fan fiction.

Try it out and liberate your git history: https://github.com/BoopyCode/commit-message-generator-1767835235

Your future self, reviewing this commit log at 2 AM during an outage, will either thank you or be utterly confused. Either way, it's more entertaining than "fixed stuff."